Baby Love, My Baby Love

Number of People at Table: 2

Number of times they kissed each other: Impossible to count.

I love getting drunk. Consequently, anyone who drinks (heavily) has had a time where they had a little too much. Personally I feel like there is a time and place for everything, for instance; a good place to get belligerently drunk is at a bar, at not so ideal place to get sloppy drunk is maybe a family restaurant like the one I work at. Granted drinks with dinner, or maybe one or two after is completely understandably, but sometime’s it can get a little out of hand.

I had this lovely couple one night that were sweet as pie from the beginning. As soon as I got to the table they began chatting it up, asking how might went, how business has been, and what happened to the restaurant next to us in the complex that just can’t survive and has to be shut down again. They were super nice about everything; thank you’s for everything I did and please with everything they asked. I didn’t even have to give them that much attention before the food came out because they didn’t have appetizers, and were making it on liquor alone. After they got the food they were both about two glasses of wine and a shot or two in and asked for a pitcher of our red sangria. Of course I was happy to oblige them and brought out their pitcher without missing a beat.

I gave them plenty of time to sit and enjoy their food. It wasn’t that late in the night, maybe an hour or so before we closed so I got started on my side work so that closing would be simpler. I tried to stay in eye sight of the table, as well as the other one’s I had, but as I walked by the table it seemed after they finished their food they were going to sit and chat for a bit. As a server, when I see a table wrapping things up I immediately try to grab dishes and trash off the table, just to help them get things out of the way. So when I came to the table with the chatty couple to remove some dishes they seemed very smitten. They went on and on about how good our pizza was, and how they love coming here, and how they also needed a new pitcher of sangria. Ok, so they’re going to chill for a little bit longer. I could tell they were a little buzzed, but I’m not a bartender so I don’t really cut people off unless they have been sitting at my table and drinking like sailors for hours.

I brought them their second pitcher, and the male had moved so he was sitting next to the female, so that they can have a more intimate setting I guess. I don’t know, I wasn’t too concerned either because this only gave me more time to close. By this time it was about nine twenty and we close at ten so it’s not like we were packed. Two or three families, one or two other tables, and then the stragglers left at the bar. I went about my closing duties, as well as taking care of my other tables, but every time I passed the table with the sweet couple it seemed with every pass they were more and more in love. I kid you not, every single time I walked by the table they had moved closer, then their legs were intertwined, then his arm was around her, then her head was on his shoulder, and then it became too much.

After a couple times of passing them, they went from smiling, happy wedded bliss where they kept the PDA to a minimum, straight to the honeymoon where they were full on making out in the middle of our store. They were not the young but they were definitely restless, I would say both being in their mid-forties. Regardless of the age, the make out session was beginning to make me sick. Obviously there is no code of restaurant ethics but kissing your spouse at dinner is more than ok, it’s just when the kiss doesn’t have a clear finish when everything gets a little awkward. I mean they were really getting things handled, it seemed like they may have not kissed each other a while so they were making up for lost times, but I find it a little uncomfortable when I’m trying to get whatever trash I can off the table and want to ask them if they’re ready for the bill but their tongues are too busy to answer me.

I decided to let them be for a while, if they wanted to be the last table here that’s on them, but you better believe when we closed at ten and the floors were almost ready to be mopped because we were ahead on our side work my little “mellow lovers” weren’t going to have to go home, but they about to get the heck out of here. Unfortunately they wouldn’t come up for air, I mean I tried and tried to see if they would take a quick breather but their lips were definitely locked. So I finally had enough, I grabbed the book and started walking to the table. Right before I got face to face, I tripped. Now you can say it was on purpose or you can it was coincidental, but when i reached out to regain balance I just happened to slam my hand and their bill on the table, making a much bigger scene than anticipated. But, they in turn broke contact, noticed the bill threw cash down, stumbled out of the store, and picked up right where they left off directly in front of the front door. Luckily they moved it outside, but I still made sure to lock the doors, and sanitize the booth seats. I could be cliché’ here and tell them to get a room but clearly they didn’t need one.