Everyone Loves Camping

Number of people in Party: 1

Number of “campers” in party: 1

A one top, it’s the dream of every server. You have a booth where up to five or six people can fit comfortably and it’s being used for one person. It’s honestly inevitable, I’m not naïve. Especially if you happen to be working a three to close shift it’s bound to happen. There are people, (including myself) who may not have a significant other, a big family, or even a want to go out to dinner with other people. Some people find it weird but I too love the silence and tranquility of sitting somewhere and eating a meal in complete solitude. Even though I’m a social butterfly, I completely understand the “one top”. With that being said, I would never go to a sit down restaurant with a host and the whole bit and request a table for one, that’s why there are bars at restaurants and high tops, what you thought we were expecting parties of six to sit at the bar together?

Ok, I was working a three to close shift. Which means I get the last of the graveyard lunch shift as well as the beginning of the dinner rush all by myself, which I love being on the floor by myself. Of course, I get sat with a one top which normally at my restaurant is a person basically getting a quick bite on their lunch break, so they are in and out. This guy was not like the others; to begin with he ordered a beer. If you’re taking a quick lunch you don’t order a beer, so I assumed he was going to chill for a bit. Again, no problem he was my only table so I was happy to oblige him. But then after I brought him the beer he wanted an appetizer, again a little odd just because it was one person but hey, you’re hungry and that’s why you came here. After I brought him the app he proceeded with his order; his extremely lengthy order. Which I kid you not consisted of one of our large dinner salads, a house calzone (which is enough for two), and then a LARGE Mighty Meaty pizza which is literally a sixteen inch pie with pepperoni, sausage, ham, bacon, and ground beef. I was shocked and disgusted, and above all had to ask “wow this is all for you”? He replied he was getting dinner for the family so I nodded and put the food in. I mean a bill for a family of four and I only have to wait on one person, I’m down.

Now the time that I put his food in was about 3:30 give or take a few minutes, and the time it hit the table was about 3:50. Right on schedule, two beers in and his food came out nothing short of greasy and correct. I was done by this time, all I really have to do from here is check in on him to make sure he doesn’t need a refill and the food tastes good and then I’m home free. I would say I gave him a solid twenty minutes of pure grub time and then kind of let him sit there and mediate on his full stomach for a bit before I came to offer a box. Like clock-work he accepted the box offer and not a minute late I returned box and bill in tow. As I boxed the rest of his food he asked me for another beer before I set the bill down. So of course I returned with a new beer as well as the modified bill and set both on the table and told him to take his time. He smiled and nodded and that was that. I am by no means a hawk so 4:30 rolled around and it looked like bill hadn’t been touched. Ok, so he really wanted to chill, understandable. As time progressed I started getting more tables, and as I would walk by his table the bill still stood untouched. I set it down a certain way so I know if it even has been opened, and it looked like he didn’t even notice. The night continued and I finally realized it was 6:00 and this guy still had not touched the bill nor asked for a new drink, nor even moved from where he was sitting or even broken his gaze from the TV.

Finally, at around 6:30 this “camper” (which is exactly what you are if you decided to sit at a table for much longer then needed) decided he wanted to pay his bill. I was already moving around from table to table and out of no-where there he was standing completely in my way, face to face with the bill in his hands. He had this annoyed look that went really well his snarky “can I pay now” statement. I ran his bill told him to have a nice day and went about my job. Bam, ten percent.

The camper left me ten percent. Thankfully the table he camped out at wasn’t even in my section because he was sat so early we didn’t even have a dinner floor plan, but still. He sat in someone’s table that they could have made good money on, but of course he found it necessary that a booth for six would be much more comfortable than that of a booth for four. Well I say this to you one top’s; lunch is one thing, but after five it’s disrespectful in my opinion to the server to take up an entire table for yourself when you can still be waited on and get the same level of service at the bar or on the patio if you’re not a drinker. With that, if in fact you do find yourself sitting in a restaurant, at booth or table much larger than you need, and the dinner rush is just starting, feel awkward. Feel extremely awkward because you’re being kind of rude and you don’t want to admit it because you’re comfortable. On top of that DO NOT under any circumstances tip them horribly, solely because your just one person. Why you might ask, because since your only one person chances are the tip is not going to be that excessive, and if in fact you happen to drink alcohol that required the skills of the bartender and made a mess that required a busser, your four dollar tip just went to those people instead of me. One may be a lonely number, but don’t take that out on me.